To whom it may concern.
To Hillary – We’re sorry that more than half of the forty years you’ve tirelessly spent in public service, have seen you endure a relentless attack on your appearance, character and, most troublingly, your capability. We’re sorry that you awoke today in a world that unequivocally values the Y chromosome over a lifetime of experience.
To the media – We’re sorry that constant accusations of ‘rigging’ and ‘bias’ have caused you to default on your primary responsibility of holding the candidates to account for their policies and pronouncements. By willfully misinterpreting the need for impartiality, your dereliction of duty helped to establish a false equivalency that enabled voters to glibly dismiss both candidates as being ‘as bad as each other.’
To the Republican surrogates – We’re sorry that you were called upon to engage in months of endless, screaming misdirection and obfuscation, in place of calm, reasoned analysis of the candidates’ positions. Given that many of you are women and mothers yourselves, we’re also sorry you’ll one day have to explain your part in this nightmare to your children.
To the Democratic surrogates – We’re sorry that you spent the entire campaign waiting for your turn to speak, and when it arrived, found yourself having to make sense of an endless barrage of shrill misinformation.
To the ‘left-behind’ middle class – We’re sorry successive Republican candidates have repeatedly encouraged you to vote against your own best interests – destablising your communities, defunding essential programmes, and eating away at your standard of living – only to offer up a series of convenient scapegoats for the downward trajectory of your socio-economic status.
To the secret voters – We’re sorry you felt ashamed by your choices when asked by polling teams how you intended to vote. But if you were self-aware enough to keep your selection a secret, we suspect there was a tinge of embarrassment behind it.
To the third party voters – We’re sorry your need for bragging rights over your antipathy towards establishment candidates drove you to enable the greatest threat to freedom and democracy in the history of the Republic.
To the Obamas – We’re sorry that your grace, intelligence, compassion and dedication to your country was effectively squandered overnight, and that your country’s reaction to eight years of exemplary leadership was to elect a candidate officially endorsed by the KKK.
To the immigrants – We’re sorry that a country and culture that was founded, sustained and strengthened by generations of immigrations, has so quickly forgotten its melting-pot heritage and chosen to mischaracterise you as the enemy.
To the Muslims and Jews – We’re sorry that the concept of ‘religious freedom’ works better in the Constitution that it does in practice, which is why it’s now being re-appropriated to only apply to one religion. And it isn’t yours.
To the people of colour – We’re sorry that the worth of your lives has become open to debate, and that half the country felt emboldened to blame you for society’s ills, while the other half waited for you to show up and save the day.
To the LBBTQ+ community – We’re sorry your long-fought battle for equality in the eyes of the law may have all been for naught, as your hard-won victories could soon be overturned by a zealous and unsympathetic Vice President. In particular, we’re sorry that the transgendered community has been painted as a greater threat to women and girls in public bathrooms, than a newly-elected President who openly boasts of sexual assault.
To women – We’re sorry that your dream of shattering that last glass ceiling has been put on hold for at least another election cycle. We’re sorry that Susan B. Anthony’s legacy has yet to be fully realised, and that it was women who helped carry a misogynistic candidate to his decisive victory. We're sorry that sexual assault has been legitimised, enabled and diminished by an indifferent electorate. And finally, we're sorry that your body will now be legislated against your will.
To children – We’re sorry that you will grow up in a world where suspicion, bullying and intolerance are behaviours endorsed by the highest office in the land. We hope you’ll find alternative role models who will guide you in the right direction.
To Trump – We’re just sorry. So very, very sorry.