Thursday 26 March 2009

I pity the fool that watches this...


Actually, that's not strictly true. This is comic genius. Except that it's not supposed to be funny.

Infomercials are a uniquely American phenomenon. If you've ever flicked through the channels late at night and come across two shiny people having a very loud conversation about cookware, you've experienced the pleasures of the infomercial.

The format of two people discussing the merits of a product, with one advising and the other learning, is nothing new in advertising. In fact, it's one of the oldest formats around. Back in the eighties this was knows as 2Cs-in-a-K. Which stood for two c***s in a kitchen. And going by this fantastic example, the term has never been more relevant.

I admit that critiquing an infomercial is a fairly futile exercise (much like looking for hypocrisy in the Daily Mail I imagine), but something about this one stuck out. It's customary to match a grounded host with a larger-than-life celebrity, and the dialogue is always condescending, but this one is a work of art.

As you watch this five minute snippet (the full version is 30 minutes long) please be sure to note:
The audience reactions, which feature acting that would be considered too broad for Ballamory.

The dialogue - my favourite quote is "My taste buds is going wild" but I'm sure you'll find your own favourite.

The user testimonials. I love Kevin Szeredy, who confidently claims that the FlavorWave is the only over he needs, whilst standing in front of a lovely chrome double oven.

And finally there's the logic. I believe Mr T sums this up best when he says "Wait a minute Darla. You can't cook fries and fied chicken without oil!" The thing is, the big guy's right. If it's roasted in an oven, it's not fried. It's roasted. Fidiots.

The only thing missing from this televisual treat is that long-established staple of the cooking infomercial - the Cornish Game Hens. Americans can't get enough of those game hens, despite the fact that the only thing these ridiculous counter-top cookers will ever be used for is maybe the occasional burger or hot dog sausage.

One final thing - as our friendly host kindly points out, you get to see your food cooking. Admittedly this is a thrilling prospect for us all, but the speeded up photography actually puts me in mind of the grotesque decomposition footage created by film-maker Peter Greenaway in A Zed and Two Noughts. Here's the snappily titled Swan Rot to remind you (scored by the amazing Michael Nyman):

2 comments:

  1. I want one of those flavourwave machines. But how does it actually work? Using left over Plutonium from the cold war!? I'll take one!

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  2. It's all in the special patented water cyclone.

    And plutonium

    ReplyDelete